Diseased, broken and deserted by her family, Shanti struggles to move her frail body as she recalls her 'tragedy', living in a slum about 200 kilometers away from India's prospering capital New Delhi. Her children sit on a cot amidst a swarm of flies.
When she discovered that she had contracted HIV from her husband, Shanti says, "I planned committing suicide many times, but couldn't bring myself to do it for the sake of my children. What would have happened to them if I abandoned them, they would have turned thieves."
With no support from the society and the government, Shanti has been pushed into prostitution, earning just enough to keep her withering body and soul together.
She represents the growing tribe of India's invisible women, known as HIV widows.
Soon after her husband's death three years ago, Shanti was thrown out of home by her in-laws family who blamed her for his death. Later her own parents, brothers and sisters deserted her. "No one from my or my husband's family came for his funeral," says Shanti.
Christuraj Puthotta, program manager of Indian Network for People Living with HIV/Aids in Chennai, says: "There is hardly any special scheme supporting HIV widows by National Aids Control Organization or the Indian government. "We are fighting to get them some financial support at par with India's huge majority of poor."
Lately, some Indian states like Andhra Pradesh, Gujarat and Orissa have offered financial support for the HIV widows, but the help seems insignificant. Orissa last year started a monthly pension of mere 200 rupees ($4); most HIV widows have to take care of their children as well as their own health.
Pooja Thakur, 26, president of Chandigarh Network of Positive People, herself was thrown on the streets along with her three children, of whom two are positive, after her truck driver husband died due to AIDS-related illness.
India has about 3 million people living with HIV, says UNAIDS, Joint United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS. Of them over one million are women. The first case of HIV was detected in 1986. The growing epidemic since has brought in its wake the increasing segment of HIV widows.
Considered bad omens, these widows lead a wretched life. They are treated as outcasts by their own families. The rural landless, illiterate widows are often exploited economically and physically, and live a life of shame and isolation.
"Those living in rural areas suffer the worst. Forget about medical help, they don't have the money to buy a bus ticket to reach a hospital," says Thakur.
Studies reveal over 80 per cent of HIV-positive women in India got the virus from their husbands who had extra-marital affairs or went to prostitutes. More than 90 per cent of HIV widows didn't live with their in-laws after their husband's death.
Thousands of women have been betrayed by the HIV men and their families who hid the men's positive status and transmitted the HIV to the unsuspecting women. Seema Patel, 21, learnt over her husband's funeral pyre that he had died of AIDS, and his family was aware of his positive status before their marriage. Like thousands of other innocent widows, she was thrown out of her husband's home by her in-laws.
"Why only women are made to suffer," asks Meena, who contracted the disease from her husband who was a 'chronic womanizer'. "Sin is of the husband, the wife suffers," she laments.
Stigma even in hospitals
Discrimination follows these helpless women even in hospitals. The medical staff judges them. The red stamp on their hospital cards declaring their HIV status haunts them. Vulnerable to opportunistic infections, they are compelled to visit hospitals for regular medical check-ups where doctors and other staff rarely show sensitivity.
"It hurts more when educated people behave callously. We are made to feel as if we are untouchables. The nurses don't touch us when we go to take blood tests. The attendants at pharmacy shops stare at us with a look of horror after seeing the stamp on our hospital cards. We have no privacy," complains Meena.
Widespread discrimination against the widows compels them to hide their HIV status at work places. "I live in constant fear of being found out," reveals Lakshmi, a domestic help, whose husband used to visit Mumbai's red-light areas and died due to AIDS infection.
Lakshmi fends for her two children. "If my employer comes to know of my disease, he would throw me out. God knows, what I would do then with myself and my children," she says.
The social stigma related to HIV runs deep in India. In rural areas, misinformation abounds about this "horrible disease". Common myths say AIDS can be cured by sleeping with a virgin. Or coughing and touching may transmit AIDS infection. Such myths lead to discrimination and isolation of HIV patients and force them into silence.
The HIV/AIDS legislation, which social workers say would ensure HIV-positive people's rights, has awaited the Indian parliament's approval for years.
The government has failed to create sufficient awareness about HIV. "People wrongly believe that one gets Aids only from illicit sex. The pressure on HIV-positives is so extreme that many warn us of committing suicide if their status is declared," discloses health counselor Ashwani Kumar of Family Planning Association of India.
Remarriage option?
Social workers advocate remarriage for bringing stability in HIV-widows' life. Some women organizations have come forward to bring HIV couples together, but the effort seems feeble in the face of an epidemic.
Ashwani says in eight years he has seen just two remarriages among HIV positive couples. "We got an HIV widow remarried to a HIV positive man whose wife had died. They both look much better now, health wise and emotionally. The marriage has rekindled in them some of their lost dreams and a desire to live."
Shanti tried to remarry but failed. "After a few rounds of discussions, the man withdrew. He wanted a working wife who could earn some money for him. I don't complain," says Shanti.
Without any financial and emotional support, necessary to carry on with everyday chores of life, Shanti, who works as a sex worker, has been reduced to an object of lust for unsuspecting men, to make ends meet. She also takes up part-time domestic jobs. Her health is deteriorating, she falls sick every now and then.
Taking care of her children's welfare is her only motivation to live on. "I have big dreams for my children, but don't even have the means to send them to a school. What can I do?" she asks.
By Manpreet Singh (China Daily)
Source - http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/cndy/2009-09/10/content_8674182.htm
